Trying To Get Ahead Or At Least Caught Up

The only negative aspect of taking a nice long vacation is the first day back to work. Today is my second day after eight days of fun in the sun and I'm still trying to get caught up on all the work I blew off I missed.

How do the Europeans take a minimum of six weeks off a year and still manage to get anything done? I'm going to take a week off to think about that.

Back To Reality

So, my vacation video blogging experiment never actually happened. This could be due to one (or all) of the following reasons:

1. I never took the video camera out of the case.
2. It was such an enjoyable get away that I didn't want to be reminded of reality.
3. I was too drunk to get it together.

In any event, I'm back. So what did I miss?

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of a person, place or thing for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, four lousy birds who get half of the beach to themselves because of the god damned environmentalists. Let the meaness begin!

Summer Fun Week

Yes, it's vacation time or as Seth likes to call it, "I like boobies and rainbows". We are hitting the road and you are coming with us. I'm gonna whip out the video camera and do my best to capture all the most memorable moments boiled down into easily watched snippits and frequently posted.

Starting Saturday, I'll be marooned on an island with some of your favorite bloggers, including Monkey Daemon, Kitty, and Seth. Also joining us will be Kelly.

I'll do my best to frequently post but as I plan to be too drunk to even remember what a USB plug is let alone where it goes, don't expect much.

I'm Still Ready For The Summer!

After a week of fun and sun at the beach we return to our drab and bleak existences, with nothing to look forward to until Christmas. Yes, I know I'm being a little dramatic but vacation was a blast! Thanks Kitty for keeping an eye on things around here, I love that Nubbin story. And thanks for watching the cats. They said they had a lot of fun with you and I noticed that none of their chores were done so I imagine you let them get away with a lot more than we do.

Now that vacation is over, I'm making a conscious effort to keep summer-vacation Jeff (or "Snack" as I somehow became known over the week) alive and kicking. With just a few simple life changes, I plan to bring the holiday home and so can you! Following are a few of my ideas and I hope you add your own in the comments section.

1. Drink more beer and drink it more frequently.
At home I normally opt for vodka because I've convinced myself it has less calories and fat than beer. On vacation, I only drink vodka for breakfast before cracking open my first cold one. For now on, I choose to limit my vodka consumption to Bloody Marys (which should never be drank after the sun sets) and go with beer at all other times.

2. Eat more junk food.
So what if its compressed into a can, it's still cheese isn't it?

3. Wear shorts and flip-flops to work.
I don't want to get anyone into trouble with this one so check with your human resource department first. If you are anything like me and are grossed out by your feet being so exposed on the subway, then do what I'm doing and wear Vans to work and keep a pair of flip-flops at the office to change into. It's sort of like Mr. Rodgers meets Jeff Spicoli.

4. Shower less.
A little sunscreen can go a long way in fighting body odor and it will help you fight the sun's harmful cancer light. So rather than jumping in the shower every morning, just slab a little Coppertone on.

5. Install an outdoor shower on your terrace or roof.
Lets face it, your are going to have to take the occasional shower and nothing says vacation like showering outdoors. If you don't have a terrace or roof access, try a fire escape and hose attached to the kitchen sink.

6. Get but naked!.
Whether you believe in evolution or creationism pull your head out of your ass clothing is man made. So why conform to man's restrictions? If you are a little trepidatious about this one, take baby steps by skinny dipping. Then you can move on to skinny hot-tubbing, streaking on the beach and eventually you will be skinny rocking-chairing.

That's about all I can think of right now so I hope you can help add to this list.

All I Ever Wanted

Remember that song from Meatballs, "Are you ready for the summer"?

That's ringing through my head right now because I'm gathering my gear (swim trunks, sun screen, beach towel, plastic two-beer-holder hat) and heading to the beach! For the next week I'll be getting shit-faced enjoying the sand and surf on Ocracoke Island in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.

Thanks to AT&T's craptastic coverage, my cell phone doesn't work on Ocracoke and I'm not bringing a computer so I will be completely out or range and out of touch for a whole week. I can't wait! Its going to be just like Survivor without all the surviving and with plenty or booze and food.

I've asked Kitty to take care of my cats and you while I'm gone so check back here for her postings and remind her to feed my cats.

Also, if you are looking for some fun-time summer jams, Seth just released his latest podcast titled, Escape Pod. It's a little bit of Styx, Gwen Stefani, Kylie, Meatballs, B-Ho! and more all thrown into one.

Have a great week everybody!