The pop-o-matic Bar Report

You know you are at a swanky joint when the coasters on the bar are crisp, white, hand-stitched cloth squares rather than the usual soggy cardboard circles with adds printed on them. I'm still not entirely sure why we were doing happy hour at The Star Bar in The Ritz-Carlton on Central Park South last night but I generally go where I'm told so there I was.

Despite this current location for the Ritz-Carlton being just a few years old, the hotel and bar have the feeling of old world New York with luxoriuos fabrics, rich woods and more marble than a Roman bath-house. With furniture and accessories that look like they may have once belonged in a Czar's palace, the place is gaudy but not too much.

I imagine that on nights where the crew I was with aren't there it's a quiet and stuffy setting but we managed to have a great time basking in the opulence and enjoying the talents of famed bartender, Norman Bukofzer. You aren't getting out of a place with a "famed" bartender cheaply, which is why this is the perfect spot to bring your parents from out of town when they visit you in New York.

Responsible Drinking Wednesdays

I'm proud(?) to report that last Wednesday's responsible drinking happy hour wasn't just a fluke. Last night I joined Seth, Cyndi, Kelly, Adam, and Jen down on the Farm for happy hour. Between the group, we had some great beers, wonderful wine, delicious cocktails, and amazing food all of which, complimented the lively conversation among good friends. Who would have guessed that my friends and I could have so much fun without getting shit-faced? This is new territory for me.

Fear not fellow booze hounds, winos, and beer sluts because I'm not going soft. Like last week, I will more than make up for one night of responsible drinking with four completely irresponsible evenings. In fact, tonight should prove to be a good old fashioned liquor appreciation fest as Seth & I have tickets for Kiki & Herb at the Knitting Factory. Check back tomorrow for a full recap at some point in the day depending on my hangover.

Amazing Stories

I was thinking last night that I should use this blog for telling more stories. I feel like I have traveled to a number of faraway places, seen and done some unique things and even met many interesting people. While thinking back on these adventures and outings, it occurred to me that a majority of my stories involve everyone having a lot to drink and me subsequently not recalling exactly how most of the stories end.

I decided that I needed to change something in order to ensure recalling my future exploits and journeys. At first I thought giving up drinking would be a good idea but then where would I go and who would join me? I'm not even sure what options there are in this city that don't involve drinking. I'm assuming the library doesn't have a bar but I can't really socialize with friends there because of the silence thing. The movies are alcohol free (which is why I never go without my flask) but
I can't handle going to a movie theater more than a few times a year. I suppose there is always uh, well, er, I can't think of anything else to do that doesn't involve drinking.

So then I thought I should just become one of those people that doesn't drink but still enjoys hanging out with their friends who do drink. I think in the suburbs they call these people "designated drivers" or "recovered alcoholics". But if I were to stay sober while all my friends got tanked, I'd just be exploiting my friends drunkenness for the sake of my blog and I could never do that to my friends.

Obviously neither of the above options are going to work so I've come up with two alternatives, which I plan to test the next time I'm out with friends. Alternative #1 is to pace myself and master the art of the pleasant buzz. Alternative #2 is to hire an official biographer to accompany me whenever I leave the apartment or have friends over. Unfortunately, I'm not really in the position to pay this person so it will have to be more of an unpaid internship rather than a paying job but I think the rewards will be worth it.

As luck would have it, I have happy hour plans this evening so I'll be able to test out one of my two alternatives. Please email me or post a comment if you are interested in the internship position or just show up at the Flatbush Farm around 5:30 and look for me at the end of the bar by the door. If I don't get any emails from interested parties and no one shows up at the bar, I'll have to try to try alternative #1.

In any event, check back tomorrow because I'll be able to give you a full recounting of the evening either through buzzed first hand account or biographer's second hand retelling.

Three Cheers!

Since the first humans left the trees and their monkey ancestors (sorry creationists but pull your heads out of your asses) they have enjoyed a good stiff drink. Cromagnum people were the first to discover the enticing delights of poppy juice and the Egyptians were notorious for their month-long beer parties. The ancient Greeks and then Romans worshiped wine with Bacchanalian feasts (now there is a religion I can get behind). Even through the dark ages, when people were dropping like flies thanks to the plague, wine, beer and mead were staples of every mans diet. Columbus added "new vineyards" to his list of reasons why the Queen should finance his cruise and although our history books may credit Lewis and Clark for their adventure you can bet those two men would thank whisky for getting them through. The popularity of a good drink has only risen in modern times despite the puritan zealots who invaded our government in the 20th century and had alcohol outlawed.

Alcohol is the great unifier giving men, women, and children of all races, nationalities, religions, sexual orientations, and political backgrounds something in common (except for the crazy religions that think drinking is a sin but who really wants anything in common with those nuts?).

Where would we be today without booze? Living in a dull and dreary world that's where. Many of our most famous works of art from paintings to theatrical productions would never have been created were it not for the alcohol infused visions of the masters. When looking at the current crop of crap infesting Broadway I can say without doubt that the problem is lack of drunken creativity. Stop letting Disney and bankers create musicals and give them back to the alcoholic playwrights and drama queens who know what they are doing.

So I say that the next time you belly up to the bar, raise a glass and give a cheer to alcohol! Now would someone please pass me some aspirin because my head is throbbing from all the vodka I drank last night.

The Pop-O-Matic Bar Report

Despite the fact that the weather remains winterish, my biological booze clock is fully aware that we should be in prime happy hour season. Spring is supposed to be that thin sliver of perfect going out weather when you can head to the bar sans jacket but still strut down the street without worrying about working up a sweat. These are supposed to be the days that are too nice to go home straight from work and you are expected to do your duty as a New Yorker by exploring happy hour discount prices.

Well screw you confused mother nature! I'm going out anyway.

Yester-happy-hour I whet my whistle at Flatbush Farm in Brooklyn. This large single room bar with adjoining separate restaurant and outdoor patio is designed to resemble an upstate farm house with modern, urban appeal. While the mixture of styles sounds a little odd, the Farm pulls it off nicely and the result is a casual and classy atmosphere.

But how are the drinks you might ask? They're Great! The bar features an eclectic and interesting beer selection plus several tasty cocktails such as the Mo' Stomy made with ginger juice, ginger ale, dark rum, mint and lime. Mmm Good.

I didn't get around to trying the food but with items such as tempura onion rings and fries with herb mayoniase, I'm fixing to remedy that soon.