ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were married.

If you haven't seen I Love Lucy in a while, I highly recomend watching an episode. Even after all these years, its still one of the funniest sitcoms on tv.

LOOKING FOR A NEW VACATION DESTINATION?

This morning I heard there are plans in the works to add new entertainment facilities to Coney Island. Here's what NY1 has to say:

"developers envision a grand new entrance for the area. Something like a tower of water with a light show and an observation deck overlooking a magnificent amusement park."
“It's this ‘wow’ of an introduction,” explained architect Stanton Eskstut. “An orientation to everybody that well, you've just arrived, wait until you see what else there is.”

Judging from my trip to Coney Island last year, I hope this magnificent amusement park includes extreme makeovers for the regulars.

PROGNOSIS NEGATIVE ALERT

Happy Wednesday Everybody!

Since today has already started, we really only have two more days until the weekend.

Here's a little midweek movie magic. Enjoy!

HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE!

Yesterday I mentioned the official launch of Operation Christmas Spirit. This 39 day long celebration is all about having fun and using the many holidays and traditions of the season as an excuse for eating and drinking too much, going out more often than usual, spending too much money on others and yourself, slacking at work and listening to corny music.

I hope everyone had a few drinks last night to celebrate the lighting of the Lincoln Center Tree but for all those that didn't, now is the time to get your Repeal Day plans in order. Repeal Day, December 5, marks the anniversary of the day the Eighteenth Amendment (Prohibition) was repealed giving us the right to legally drink! Traditional Repeal Day festivities include heading out to your favorite bar and drinking your favorite spirit. So forget your usual routine of drinking at home alone next Tuesday and head to a spot where everybody knows your name.

BACK TO REALITY

Nothing beats a short week better than a long weekend, especially when its an extra long holiday weekend. The only down-side to an extra long weekend is returning to work on Monday. But here's the good news for everyone returning to work today after having four days off for Thanksgiving - we've got two more holidays to look forward to in less than a month!

I hope everyone's long weekend was as good as mine filled with friends/family, food and fun. In our home, Thanksgiving also signals the start of operation Christmas Spirit and we spend the days after Thanksgiving (except Friday because I was too hungover) putting up the Christmas decorations. I know for some people, the Friday after Thanksgiving, or "Black Friday" as its called, is a day for shopping. I'd like to share with you some lovely stories from last week's "Black Friday". So grab a cup of hot coco and turn on your AC (its approaching 70 in New York today) and enjoy these modern holiday tales.

Shortly after midnight yesterday, an estimated 15,000 shoppers pushed and shoved their way into the Fashion Place mall in Murray, Utah. Police soon joined them, responding to reports of nine skirmishes.

Once inside, shoppers ransacked stores, overturning piles of clothes as they looked for bargains. A retailer's dream -- too many customers! -- quickly turned into a nightmare, forcing store clerks to shut their doors, and only let people in after others left. The mall even briefly closed its outside doors to avoid a fire hazard.

At the Wal-Mart outside Columbus, customers dashing toward 5 a.m. deals pinned employees against stacks of merchandise.
"Oh, my god, stop pushing me, oh, my god," screamed Linda Tuttle, a 47-year-old employee at the store.

Virginia TV newscast reports:

The rush at Roanoke's Best Buy turned violent, just seconds after the doors opened at 5 a.m. NewsChannel 10 caught a man on video hitting someone over and over. Watching in slow motion you can see him hit someone at least 5 times.
Scranton newspaper reports:

The scene at many stores was part Woodstock, part Lord of the Flies, as hundreds hunkered for hours bundled in clothes, wrapped in blankets and holding coffee cups and crumbled newspaper inserts.

As the 5 a.m. opening at Best Buy approached, latecomers crashed the line marked by yellow tape, jockeying for pole position with people who stood in the cold for hours.

Attempting to quell the crowd, a store manager jumped on a garbage can and threatened to call police. Store employees handed out tickets, entitling the bearer to one of the limited number of so-called "doorbuster" items.

Many of those in the line circling the building had no idea that the front of the store was on the brink of chaos, or that items they waited for were already claimed.

In Torrance, California, the Mercury News reports:

An elderly woman and nine other bargain hunters were injured Friday in a rush for gift certificates dropped from the ceiling of a local mall.

Some 2,000 shoppers rushed for 500 falling prize-filled balloons at the Del Amo Fashion Center, leaving nine with minor wounds and sending an elderly woman to the hospital.

MANHATTAN MILESTONE

As of today, the guy in the little cart on the street where I buy my coffee every morning now knows my order without me asking for it. And, we've gone from him saying "Have a good day boss" to Have a good one buddy!"

SURVIVOR SWEETHEARTS?

I was just reading an interview with Brad, who was recently voted off the Island on Survivor and came across this juicy chestnut:

"AE: There have been rumors floating around that you and JP are dating. Any truth to them?"
"BV: [laughs] Um, it's all about timing in life. I can't answer that. JP is a great guy. You'll have to wait for the finale."

SAMSUNG BLOWS HOLOGRAPHIC SMOKE UP OUR VIRTUAL ASSES

Last week Samsung announced what the near future of cell phones will hold for us and I find it hard to believe.

According to Samsung:

"By 2010 or so, handsets will use flexible or holographic displays and could have processors that run at clock speeds up to 5GHz, Lee said.
Future handsets will also include more advanced cameras, capable of capturing 3-D and holographic images, and rely on fuel cells or solar panels for power, Lee said. Future handsets will switch seamlessly from one network to another, moving between cellular networks, mobile WiMax, and other networks, he said."

Give me a break. I'm still waiting to talk to someone over my wrist phone, which back in the 1990's Tom Selleck promised "you will". Leave the holograms to Science Fiction for now and just make sure my Cingular phone has service on Ocracoke Island next summer. Now that would be futurtastic!

NERD ALERT!

SCI FI Channel's award-winning series Battlestar Galactica will move to a new timeslot starting Jan. 21, 2007: Sundays at 10 p.m.

If you haven't seen it yet, this is one of the best shows on TV right now.

SIGHTING

If you happen to be in the Rockefeller Center area today and looking for a quick peep - JB just ripped her pants! "Yup," said JB, "ripped my pants. There was a staple on my chair and it snagged my pants. Now you can see a little circle of flesh on the seat of my pants....sweet."

SERENITY NOW, INSANITY LATER

Have you seen that video of Michael Richard's insane stand-up act? It's so disturbing I had to stop watching halfway through my second viewing. Click here to see for yourself:

NOT VERY BLIND ITEM

While most of us were enjoying our weekend with friends, family, and loved ones, a particular Brooklyn resident, who I will refer to as JB, was busy interviewing new friends. A highly reliable source passed the following email to me and I have it on good authority that the author of this email was in the Philadelphia area over the weekend.

This is the actual email, I've only removed people's email addresses, phone numbers and full names.

Date: November 17, 2006 2:03:56 PM EST
Subject: Invitation to Friendship
From: JB@bofasecurities.com
To: ?@comcast.net

Hey B:

I am trying to make some changes in my life and the first thing I need to change are my friends. I have decided that Jeff is just too immature for me and let's not even talk about Heather soo what do you say we become friends?? I have always found you to be very mature, cultured, interesting and stimulating. I think its a good fit.

Let me know if you are interested. I am a good friend.

Your Friend (?)

JB

NIP TUCK

It just occured to me that I forgot to mention Nipsey Russel's birthday (September 15) and anniversary of his death (October 2). Did you know that Nipsey got his start in the 1940s as a car hop at the Atlanta drive-in The Varsity, where he would earn his tips by making his customers laugh. He moved his act to nightclubs in the 1950s, when he was discovered and subsequently made many "party albums", which were essentially a compilation of his stand-up routines.

In the late 1950s, he was featured on The Ed Sullivan Show, which led to a small part in the comedy Car 54, Where Are You? in 1960. Russell became the first black performer to become a regular panelist on a weekly network game show when he joined ABC's Missing Links in 1964. A year later, he became a co-host of ABC's Les Crane Show. During the 1970s, he was a co-star in the ABC sitcom Barefoot in the Park and appeared regularly on The Dean Martin Show and The Dean Martin Comedy World. Scattered appearances on television series followed, as well as performing guest host duties on The Tonight Show.

In 1971, he started as a featured panelist on To Tell the Truth, which led to him being hired for The Match Game when Goodson-Todman Productions revived it two years later. He also served as panelist on the 1968 revival of What's My Line? Today, he is most known for these game show appearances — not only for his wit, but his seriousness in playing the games (or in Truth's case, questioning the civilian contestants).

He was also a trained dancer, and appeared in the 1978 film The Wiz as the Tin Man.

He died October 2, 2005 in New York City, after suffering from stomach cancer.

HOT JENNIB

I've been getting a lot of requests for pictures of Jenni B. So here you go!

COFFEE! GOOD FOR WHAT AILS YOU

I was just doing a little research on AOL for an article I'm writing when I came across this tasty tidbit.

Coffee
MISCONCEPTION: It only keeps you awake.
TRUTH: Arizona researchers recently discovered that caffeinated coffee helps improve memory in older adults. Plus, regular coffee drinking lowers the risk for type 2 diabetes. A new report finds that people who drink a daily four to six cups have a 28 percent lower risk of developing this illness, which is fast becoming an epidemic in this country, than folks who drink less than two cups each day.

HAPPY LIFE DAY!

Life Day is upon us. Traditionally celebrated on the Wookiee home world Kashyyyk, Life Day is a time to reflect on the renewal of life and to remember those who have passed on. In recent years Life Day traditions have been adopted by many species across the galaxy. Wookiees will often brave adverse conditions to make it home for this holiday, as it is an important time for family bonding and thankfulness.

NORDBURG NEWS

Am I following the latest O.J. Simpson story correctly? Did he just admit to killing his ex-wife Nicole Simpson Brown and her friend Ron Goldman in a new tell-all book?

Sure, most of us rational people suspected all along that he did it and got away with it, but this is crazy. He's now trying to profit from killing those people by writing a book!

If this is confirmation of what we've always suspected then the prosecutors and jury members from his trial back in 1995 should be ashamed of themselves. Although, I guess we shouldn't be too surprised, afterall, he was tried in the same state that acquitted Michael Jackson of child molestation charges. What an embarrassment for our court system.

THEY LOVE ME IN CANADA

Hey folks! Check out this article I wrote for Kids Domain, a Canadian website. Its a totally awesome holiday toy guide.
Enjoy!

HOW YOU FEELIN? HOT! HOT! HOT!

There's something wrong with the environment when the years' Beaujolais Nouveau is on the shelf and the ice-cream man is driving by the spirits shop playing that annoying universal, ice cream-truck theme song.

THOSE GOOFY BASTARDS

Nearly 30,000 people have watched this You Tube video. And after watching, I can see why!

THE ONLY WAY TO FLY

I can't fly without my iPod but occasionally, I'll forget to fully charge it or get stuck waiting in the airport because of delays and the battery drains before the flight ends. Well Apple just announced that it is going to start offering iPod integrated seats on Air France, Continental, Delta, Emirates, KLM and United. These six airlines will begin offering their passengers iPod seat connections which power and charge their iPods during flight and allow the video content on their iPods to be viewed on the their seat back displays. Look for these new tuned-in seats sometime in mid 2007.

JUST SAY NO TO FAO!

According to NY1 (our local news channel), FAO Schwarz wants to open a store in Park Slope, Brooklyn. What are they smoking? Didn't the previous owners of FAO go bankrupt and have to sell the company to the new owners who closed all but two locations? Haven't the new owners figured out that people don't want to shop at an FAO branch. They want the whole tourist experience of visiting the store on 5th Avenue. Not to mention Park Slope has plenty of independent toy stores and if anyone can't find a toy in the neighborhood, we can just hop on the train and be at the 5th Ave store in a matter of minutes.

"HELL" "DOLL"

Carol Channing has been getting a lot of grief for some comments she alledgedly made in an interview. Well her publicist has responded to clear things up. According to the publicist, Channing's quotes were altered to create entirely new meanings.

Here's the press release from the publicist:

***PRESS RELEASE from HARLAN BOLL, publicist for CAROL CHANNING***

"Is a sad statement on our community when they so quickly choose to believe bad things about people without checking the facts. Especially when they are about individuals to whom we have received nothing but support over the years. In this case the less than accurate interview done with Carol Channing comprised of a series of half quotes and twisted statements.

The reporter misquoted Tim Rowe and me and clearly misquoted Carol. Feel free to call me if you want 323-xxx-xxxx or call Tim Rowe the event director at 937-xxx-xxxx.

He says he is quoting from a transcript which he doesnt have. He was asking questions of Carol that were clearly traps. She initially thought she was doing an interview with The Springfield News. I hadnt told her I had switched the two and when the reporter started asking questions about her gay friends, she thought it was going to be one of those interviews where she would have to defend her friends, but when she realized it was a gay trade, her defenses were already up and confusion ensued.

When I spoke to the reporter afterwards he told me that Tim Rowe of the organization producing the Springfield event, had said that because of his interview, Carol wasn't going to do the event. When I immediately called Tim he said he never said anything of the sort and when Tim spoke to reporter, the reporter told him equally outlandish things that I never said. The comment about how she wasnt going to do any future interviews is crazy, because she did two more immediately following his. The guy was clearly trying to bash an Icon and make a name for himself. Sadly these people with ulterior motives exist and have since before Louella Parsons and Hedda Hopper. I suppose this gentleman has a great future at the National Enquirer.

FYI - what she actually said when asked about gay marriage was that she wasnt necessarily pro gay marriage, because why would we want the government involved in our business and most of her gay friends were in agreement - this include myself. She thought civil unions and civil rights were more important, but "if this is what gay men really want then its their business and I dont care, they can take care of themselves."

With reference to the Bible - she said about gay marriage "You know what the Bible says about it ... Nothing." The interviewer failed to add that last comment in the quote to the interview.

Her history of support speaks for its self. As a gay man myself, who has worked for her for years, she has supported my 7 year relationship from the beginning and of her other gay friends and colleagues agree. For example, longtime friend, Mr. Blackwell, says that she was one of the first to be there for he and his partner Spencer and continues to be for what will soon be their 58th anniversary."

HAPPY MONDAY

Hello friends, how was everybody's weekend? Seth & I took advantage of the Global Warming Weather and joined Janelle and Pete for another stoop sale. Once again we displayed our crap on Chris and Gary's stoop, although Chris and Gary weren't there because they are currently honeymooning in Hawaii (don't worry guys, most of your wedding gifts didn't get sold).

Later that night, Jenni B took Seth & I out for dinner to say thanks for the room redo we did for her in September. We had a fantastic dinner that included eating a kangaroo! I was opposed to the idea until Jen assured us that they are nasty creatures. Lets just hope Jen doesn't visit Korea any time soon or she'll have us eating dog.

The weather took a turn for the worse on Sunday and we spent a good old fashioned rainy day doing a lot of work in front of the TV. In addition to watching hours of Totally outrageous Videos (our new favorite show) we also watched the documentary,"Born Rich." While interesting, it wasn't exactly what I had in mind. I was hoping for a look at the fabulous lives and homes of ridiculously wealthy kids when the film was more about these kids winning and complaining about the trappings of wealth - whatever.

So how was your weekend?

AMERICA'S LEAST FUNNIEST

How does Bob Saget keep getting hired. Does anyone out there find him entertaining? Just hearing his voice makes my skin crawl. Somehow, this dipshit has been hired once again to appear on TV, this time as host of a new game show that takes drawn-out, forced suspense to a new low and its obvious that even some of the contestants can't stand him. Please TV, stop the insanity! No more Saget!

"YOU MUST BE SUFFERING FROM DELUSIONS OF ADEQUACY"

In case you missed it, Joan Collins was on Martha Stewart this week and she was a hoot! Collins, who made the bitch-slap a staple on Dynasty, looked great and a bit like a dear in the oven's headlights. Either Joan is an old school chef or this was her first experience with cooking because she didn't know what a microwave was called. She also thought Martha's egg whisk was an old fashioned tool that she recalled her mother using.

SHOW US YOUR TITS

Why don't the women take off their shirts during the weigh-in on Big Fat Loser? The men always do and some of those guys have the biggest jugs I've ever seen.

YOU MIGHT BE AN ASSHOLE IF . . .

You might be an asshole if you carry an enormous, golf umbrella on crowded sidewalks when it rains.

WOW I LOVE E!

I have to hand it to E! Entertainment Television for the best piece of timely programming I have ever seen. Today was election day for some offices around the country and right now (8:46 pm) E! is showing the movie "Election". This hilarious movie features a girl shouting "Who cares! Don't vote at all"! Now that's comedy.

JUST BREATHE

I just got a hot tip (thanks Jenni B) on a great video currently on youtube. It's from the Country Music Awards and shows Faith Hill's reaction to loosing an award to Carrie Underwear.

Check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_P-aYADTkw&mode=related&search=

NERD ALERT!

Attention all Star Wars fans!

Looking for a totally original and spacey addition to your Star Wars or Sci-Fi collection? Or perhaps you want to be an Original E-11 Stormtroper for Halloween (just 359 days to go). Then look no farther than the Definitve Guide to making your very own Blaster Rifle replica! This web site provides you with a step-by-step guide to building a blaster rifle replica with parts from your local hardware store and local automotive salvage yard (you do know where your local automotive salvage yard is located don't you?).

Check it out now at http://www.studiocreations.com/howto/blasterrifle/main.html

And May The Force Be With You!

AARON'S PARTY

I can't believe I haven't written anything about the TV show, "House of Carters". This show is so awful that even Heather might not be watching it. At first I thought it would be another fun, celebrity catastrophe but this family is so screwed up that they make Bobby and Whitney's show look like "Father Knows Best".

In one episode, the mega-mess sister, BJ, is asking advice on how to end her relationship with a guy she "loves but isn't attracted to anymore." Although she could have just waited in a drunken haze for this episode to air, she decides the best way to break up is by starting a fight and when the perfect opportunity presents itself (he offers to help her clean the pigsty she lives in) she lashes out and demands her space. In this same episode, former non-threatening cutie, brother Aaron (who now looks like a tweaked-out meth-head) gets trashed with his sisters (he is 18) and is then forced by Mr. Responsibility, older brother Nick, to go grocery shopping. Aaron later pukes on the ride home and vows never to get wasted again.

If this brief recap has piqued your interest and you decide to tune in for the next train wreck, I suggest watching with a drink in hand and take part in my House of Carters drinking game - every time some says "respect" take a drink. Be warned, however, you may find yourself drunkenly stumbling around the Piggly Wiggly before the episode is over.

GENIUS AT WORK #2

Welcome to the second posting of my semi-regular section, 'Genius At Work'! In case you missed the first entry, this is the spot where I share my ideas that can make the world a better place to live in.

I do my best to avoid anything related to politics but sometimes, especially around elections, that isn't very easy. Personally, I believe all politicians, regardless of party, are corrupt, deceitful, dirtbags who will say and do anything to get and keep their cushy jobs. And who can blame them? After all, how many jobs do you know of that give the employees lengthy recesses?

So here's my idea. Rather than letting candidates running for an office to debate each other, they should be hooked up to lie detectors and questioned on TV about their platforms and plans for office. This way we can expose the lies before the dirtbags get into office.

Here are a few standard questions that I'd like answered. What would you like to ask?
Which of your campaign promises do you intend to keep?
What aspects of your position do you intend to abuse?
How many interns do you plan to sexually harass?
Do you believe god speaks directly to you?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how big of a douche-bag are you?

3, 2, 1

Why is everything on VH1 a countdown? Can't they just have a show that doesn't involve counting down the "insert number here" Most Whatevers of all Time? If you haven't already seen Totally Awesome, the new VH1 movie, you should check it out. And just in case you can't decide what the best moments of the movie were, stay tuned for 10 Most Excellent Things: Totally Awesome - a countdown of 10 memorable scenes from the movie you just watched.

WAKE ME UP AFTER YOU GO

You are going to think that I have it in for George Michael but I just can't help making fun of him. He keeps making these ridiculous statements. His latest diatribe, "Murdoch is the devil", blames Rupert Murdoch for his career difficulties. Apparently George thinks his 2002 song, Shoot The Dog (never even heard of it), which some perceived as anti-Bush, pissed off super republican Murdoch. I'm sure Murdoch downloaded that track back in 02 thinking he was in for a snappy tune only to be sadly mistaken by the controversial message. So far George Michael has blamed all gays and Murdoch for his career troubles. Next he'll be blaming The Wiggles for stealing away his young fans.

I'M GONNA LIVE FOR EVER!

I've got some good news and some even better news that you may have missed this week. First the good news -- the findings of a new study were released this week and researches have discovered that a molecule (Reservatrol) found in red grapes and therefore in red wine, can prolong the life span of mice. Now for the even better news, science says that a human would have to drink 300 glasses of wine a day to equal the amount of Reservatrol given to the mice in the study. That sounds like a wager to me!

EXTRA! EXTRA!

I was asked by Kaboose.com (part of KidsDomain) to write a holiday gift guide. The article was published today and you can check it out at http://www.kidsdomain.com/holiday/toy-guide/

IT'S A LIVING

This week at work - I created a one-of-a kind magic drawing, changed Baby Alive's diaper, and glued swords to the hands of Pirate action figures. Today I'm stuffing my own teddy bears with the Li'l Luvables Fluffy Factory. I only hope if my parents are reading this, they don't ask me to pay them back for college.

FAMOUS LAST WORDS

Despite the fact that both Jen and I agreed early in the evening that we had to get home at a decent hour, we managed to close the patio at The Riv. Off course we had a little help from our friend, Kelly. Kelly made a stopover in NYC on her latest goodwill tour to the states after cheering on her sister in a DC marathon. As always, it was great to see that sassy Brit and I can't wait for her and Adam to return to NY permanently next year. Speaking of which, Kelly mentioned how much they will miss their weekend, European, jet setting so we agreed to start a US travelers club when they get here. The states might not have the glamour, exotica, and history of Greece or Rome but there's got to be plenty of fun weekend excursions for those of us living in the North East. So put on your thinking caps and dust off your valises because we've got some traveling to do next year!

GO BACK TO SLEEP GEORGE

I was trolling the interweb when I came across this nugget from George Michael, "Gay fans are only interested when you're in the closet. Once you're out, they don't give a toss." While I can't speak for all gay fans, I can say that personally, I stopped giving a toss about George when his music started to suck. Now that I think of it, when was the last time he even did anything related to music. It seems lately he is too busy with drug busts, lewd acts and passing out in cars to actually make music. It seems to me that even George Michael doesn't give a toss about George Michael.

HAPPY HALLOWS DAY PAGANS!

I've given up trying to load my images so that I could get the following posted before Christmas. I'll try to post the images separately later. Stupid interweb!

Did everyone have a good Halloween? We celebrated in the hood with our Park Slope Pals, Chris & Janelle. The Park Slope tradition is for all the trick-or-treaters to go from shop to shop along seventh Ave, collecting candy. Chris and I manned the door of her office, which is located on the avenue, and gave out candy to hundreds of kids, tons of surely teens and the occasionally sneaky adult (we know you weren't "gettin candy fo yo baby" lady!).

There were a lot of great costumes with many Superman, Superwomen, Spiderman, Power Rangers (especially, the Green Ranger) and Star Wars characters (especially Darth and Storm Troopers). One of the best group costumes of the night was the Tron Family.

The evening ends with a parade making its way up the avenue and unlike the West Village parade of Manhattan, this one isn't the least bit commercial with people who live in the area gathering to march in costume. You can bet we will be in that parade next year!

PLEASE STAND BY

Hello friends! I have an article on our Halloween adventures ready to publish, however, there's a problem uploading my images. I'll keep trying to fix the problem so keep checking back for the post.
Thanks!