Friday, December 21, 2007

Dead or Alive

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

This week is a trick question - Jesus Christ, Dead or Alive?

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Closed And Closed!

It's official, Seth and I are now the proud owners of 20% of a house on two acres of land in upstate New York!


This picture is of the back of the house taken from the yard.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

The Headline Says It All - Part 3

Sometimes the only part of an article worth reading is the headline. Here are a few I came across today. Follow the links for the full stories.

MSNBC: "Jingle-bang! Santa's chopper shot over Rio slum"

AP: "Woman accused of groping mall Santa"

Reuters: "Monkeys and college students equal at mental math?"

CNN: "Naked men shop for Skittles"

Monday, December 17, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday Holiday Edition

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, Frank Shirley. Let the Meanness begin!


Talk about a dickhead! What sort of a person does away with Christmas bonuses and doesn't even have the decency to let his employees know about it! He deserves to be kidnapped on Christmas Eve by a large, burley man in a blue leisure suit.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Headline Says It All Part II

Sometimes the only part of an article worth reading is the headline. Here are a few I came across today. Follow the links for the full stories.
"Ex-Newark Mayor Billed Porn Movies to City"
full story from 1010Wins

"Man accidentally shoots self in buttocks"
full story from AP

"Attackers chop off man's 'magic' leg"
full story from AP

"South Korea clone glowing cats"
video on the BBC

Dead Or Alive?

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

This week - Don Knotts, Dead or Alive?

Thursday, December 13, 2007

The Headline Says It All

Sometimes the only part of an article worth reading is the headline. Here are a few I came across today. Follow the links for the full stories.

"Icelandic teenage caller tricks White House" from Reuters, Full story

"Man drinks liter of vodka at airport line" from the AP Full Story

"Pilot recounts eight days lost in bush" from Reuters, Full story

Because I Care About You

I don't know about you but for the past few years, I have done most of my holiday shopping online. I also do most of my non-holiday shopping online but that's none of your business. If you also like to shop the emails then you might be interested in a site I just found out about today, which really would have been useful to know about last month.

The site is called DealNews.com and basically it lists hundreds of incredible deals to be found online. I'm not talking about crap that you would never want but good stuff like Mac's for under $800 and Kensington iPod speakers for $54. I even saw a JVC Digital Camcorder for $200 with free shipping! They also have all sorts of stuff for your home and car and anything else you might be shopping for.

Have you heard of or used this site before? If so, what did you think?

And no, unfortunately I'm not getting paid to post about DealNews.com. However, if DealNews is reading, I'm open to selling out.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Brawndo! It's Got What Plants Crave

In what will undoubtedly play out in some sort of self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, Mike Judge (Idiocracy) has given the licensing rights to a company to produce BRAWNDO, The Thirst Mutilator energy drink!


In addition to all the electrolytes, BRAWNDO is loaded with 200mg of caffeine per can plus Taurine, Inositol, Guarana, Potassium, and Vitamins B6, B12, and C.

Available by the case (24 - 16oz cans) from ThinkGeek for $39.99.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Department Store Holiday Windows - Macy's

Macy's - New York City, Herald Square, 34th street where Broadway crosses 6th Avenue.










Monday, December 10, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday Holiday Edition

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, The Cratchit Family. Let the Meanness begin!


Poor Bob Cratchit my ass! I imagine in 1840s London, a majority of the population would have killed for an indoor job, where they could sit down. It's not that the Cratchits didn't make enough money to live comfortable, the problem is they couldn't stop having kids. Maybe if they showed a little restraint, or Bob agreed to wear a condom, they could have afforded a nice flat on Easy street rather than a hovel on Skid Row. And who doesn't think that Tiny Tim was faking? I mean come on! Being the youngest of 16 kids he had to do something to get a little attention.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Copied From Today's Headlines: N.J. Substitute Teacher Accused of Being Drunk

From 1010wins.com:
"MANALAPAN, N.J. (AP) -- Bail is set at $25,000 for a substitute teacher accused of being drunk in class in Manalapan.

School officials said fourth-grade students at Pine Brook Elementary School knew something was wrong when their substitute fell out of her chair, had trouble getting up and held her coffee mug tightly."

I have to ask the following - Turkey, were you subbing in Manalapan yesterday?

Dead Or Alive?

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

This week - Dick Van Patten, Dead or Alive?

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Hey Look, I've Got A Poll

Check it out! My first poll. Just look to the right and don't forget to answer.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

rock-o-matic

Seth is back with another timely musical marvel. Listen to Happy Holiday here.

Super Happy Terrific Products: Star Wars Flash Drive

I don't know about you but I always have a couple of flash drives handy for storing, backing up, or carrying digital data. While extremely practical, I can't say that any of my flash drives are stylish or fun. Which is why I'm so excited about these Series 2 Star Wars Mimobots from Mimoco.

The Star Wars Mimobot Series 2 Designer USB Flash Drives will be available in 1GB, 2GB, & 4GB capacities and come preloaded with bonus removable Star Wars content like soundBytes, applications, icons, avatars, screensavers, and wallpapers. The series 2 collection will include Princess Leia, Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, and Boba Fett with each Mimobot ranging in price from $50 to $110.

You can preorder a series 2 Mimobot here, which should arrive by February of 2008. If you can't wait that long, then check out one of the Series 1 Star Wars Mimobots that are currently available here.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Spirit Airlines - Sky Pimp

I received an email from Spirit Airlines, which happens to be the worst airline that I have ever flown on, with the following subject:
"Spirit Airlines - MILF Sale - Fares From $9* Each Way"

Contrary to the subject line, as far as I can tell, the sale doesn't have anything to do with any Mother I'd Like to Fuck. Sounds like a blatant example of false advertising to me.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday Holiday Edition

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, the Whos down in Whoville. Let the Meanness begin!

Can you imagine living next door to this band of freaks? They are constantly singing, making all sorts of a ruckus and probably blowing things up in their ovens. No wonder the Grinch did what he did just to get a good night's rest.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Happy Anniversary Lucy & Ricky



67 years ago today, Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz were married.

Dead Or Alive?

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

This week - Dom DeLuise, Dead or Alive?

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Department Store Holiday Windows - Lord & Taylor

Lord & Taylor, New York City - 5th Avenue.

It was raining when I went so I only took a few.







Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Lighting The Rockefeller Christmas Tree


Tonight is the lighting of the The 84-foot-tall, 60-year-old Norway spruce Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. Although I would never dream of attending the lighting ceremony (too many people for my comfort level), I always make it a point of heading over to Rockefeller Center some time during the season and checking out the tree first hand - just to get some ideas on how to decorate my own.

This year, every one who has anything to do with this tree, from the largest tenant at Rockefeller (NBC/Universal/GE) to Rockefeller Center's owner (Tishman Speyer) are making a ballyhoo of how the tree is so friendly to the environment or "green" as all the marketing execs are calling it these days. Apparently the greenness they are referring to are the LED lights on the tree, which will be partially powered by solar panels.


Of course, none of these eco-warriors mention the fact that they killed a majestic thing of natural beauty and dragged it through the streets to prop up for our enjoyment. The tree's corporate killers will, however, save millions of dollars through the use of the LEDs and solar panels and I guess that's what "Going Green" is really all about - helping the little, globally toxic-spewing corporations save some money.


Don't get me wrong - I love Christmas and decorating and making a huge deal of this season and it just wouldn't be the same without the tree at Rockefeller. But what drives me crazy is this hypocritical hype. If they really want to help the environment rather than exploit the gullible, why not choose a slightly smaller tree (say a teensy 60 foot tall one) but allow space at the base to keep the tree's roots so it could be replanted? Now that's green!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Super Happy Terrific Products

Check out this new light-up, LED, Wii-Remote accessory.
You don't actually need it to play any games on the Wii but so what? It looks like a light saber and that's fun. It's available here for about $30.

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

As a long time Simpsons fan, it pains me to say this but the latest season hasn't been very good. There have been a few chuckles but overall it's been really lame. And what the hell was that last night?! Yet another Sideshow Bob tries to kill the Simpsons episode. Sideshow Bob has always been one of my favorite characters and his episodes are among some of the best. But come on, it's getting stale.

So this week's victim is Matt Groening. Let the meanness begin!

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Real Awful World

I'm not sure if you are watching the Real World Sydney but if you aren't, let me tell you what you are missing - the worst season of The Real World in as long as I can remember.

I've never seen a more wretched group of roommates on this show before. And surprise surprise, the most horrible person of all is the outspoken Christian. Every one of these assholes has more issues than a 22 minute program can display in one week and unfortunately, non of these issues are entertaining to watch. I can't imagine how hard the editors of this season are working to try and package this crap as something worth watching.

Despite the amount of time I've already wasted watching, I don't think I'll bother finishing the season. Why am I telling you all this? It's to save you from making the same mistake that I made - tuning in to the Real World Sydney.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Super Happy Terrific Products

After seeing these Bacon And Eggs Cufflinks, I really wish that I had more occasions to wear cufflinks to. Although, if that were the case, I would have to go out and buy a bunch of pricey French-cuff shirts or just poke holes through the cuffs of my American-cuff (is that such a thing?) shirts ala George Costanza. In any event, if you wear a lot of cufflinks and have $300 to drop at Barneys then you should definitely buy these.

Things I Never Want To Hear on TV Again

I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch a lot of TV and most of it is craptastic viewing. So this will probably become an ongoing list but here are the first and biggest offenders.
1. That's what I'm talkin' about!

2. I'm lovin' it.

3. Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, TMZ TV.


I tuned in when this paparazzi web site premiered on the idiot box. However, for me, it didn't take long for this show to go from a mildly entertaining guilty pleasure to nauseating waste of time.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Dead Or Alive

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

This week, Shirley Hemphill, aka. Shirley Wilson on What's Happening!! (she's the one standing in the following picture).

So, is she Dead or Alive?

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Super Happy Terrific Products

I don't care how idiotic I'd look wearing this, I have to have the Chewbacca Backpack!


If you think about it, it's really more than just a nifty tool to carry your belongings. It's your very own first mate and side-kick.

I really hope that you are reading this Santa but in case you aren't, the Chewbacca Backpack is available at Think Geek for just $39.99. hint hint

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I Don't Get It

So I finally saw Knocked Up over the weekend and I thought it was ok. Not great, not bad. Just ok. It had some funny lines, like most of the sister's comments and there were even a few references that I really got a kick out of like the mushroom trip to Vegas. But overall, I didn't think it was very funny and it lacked energy. Considering that most of the people I know who saw this movie said it was "great!" and "the funniest movie", what did I miss?

Monday, November 12, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, people on strike.


First it was the MTA workers, then the television writers and now, Broadway theater stagehands have gone on strike. Doesn't anyone just fucking go to work anymore?! It seems to me like a lot of people in this country, myself included, are fortunate just to live in a country with so many employment opportunities. So quit crying and get back to work you lazy sons-of-bitches!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Dead Or Alive

The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.

The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.


This week, Rich Little - 80's TV icon, man of a thousand voices (that all basically sounded like him), and Little Debbie Snack Cakes spokesperson. So, is he Dead or Alive?

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The Green Machine

So last night on the Fattest Loser, the show went "green" to give something back to mother Earth. And what was the first bit of action the show took? All of the fatties were given new, green T-shirts!

Umm? What aspect of that was environmentally friendly? Just think about all the fabric needed to make the shirts to cover those bloated bodies. What a waste.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, Kim Kardashian.


From what I can gather (and mind you, I haven't actually attempted to gather anything other than the photo above), this floosie is "famous" for hanging out with Paris Hilton, having a big butt, and making a sex tape. Apparently, those are also the only requirements to get a reality show on E.

Let the meanness begin!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Tag! I'm It.

country roads "tagged" me on Wednesday and here is what I have to do:

A). Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog...

B). Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself...

C). Tag 7 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs...

D). Let each person know that they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Well, I just did "A" and "B" above so here are my 7 random and/or weird facts about myself:

1. I hate all types of sea food.
2. I once spent a night hanging out with Lady Miss Kier of Deee-Lite at a rave.
3. I used to go to raves a LOT.
4. I've never read a self-help book and look down slightly on people who have.
5. I think its funny when people fall down.
6. I hate hi-fiving or being a part of any goofy hand-shake rituals.
7. Every year at this time of year, I decide it would be a good idea to grow my hair a little longer than usual and after a month or two, decide I look ridiculous and have it cut. I'm currently in the middle of this process and have about a month until I wise up and get my hair cut.

Country Roads only tagged 5 people so I'm going to follow his lead. Here are the five people I'm tagging:

Kitty, Adam, Kelly, Jen, JDizzle.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Dead or Alive

In honor of All Hallows Day, it's a very special edition of Dead or Alive.

This week, Don Imus - Dead, Alive or (start creepy music) Living Dead?!


Judging by this picture, I'm going to have to go with Living Dead. You know what that means? Don't let Don Imus bite or scratch you and for god's sake, never let his bodily fluids anywhere near your orifices.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy Halloween!

I get a lot of corny email jokes from my mom but this one is actually funny.
A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY
handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't
want to offend you."

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When
you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I
have, you get a chance to see and hear just about
everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss
me."

She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about
that: #1, you have to be single and #2, you must be
Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm
single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would
make a hooker blush

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver
starts crying.

"My dear child," says the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must
confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK . My name is Kevin and I'm
going to a Halloween party."

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Hot Off The Presses!

Normally I wouldn't resort to reporting crass stories like the following but on the day before Halloween, how can anyone resist this headline?

Man in N.J. Charged with Having Sex with a Corpse

From 1010 WINS:
"TEANECK, N.J. (1010 WINS) -- Police in Teaneck arrested a man for allegedly having sex with a corpse.

Anthony Merino, a 24-year-old lab technician, was arrested Sunday after a security guard saw him having sex with a dead 92-year-old woman in the Holy Name Hospital morgue, police said. The suspect works part time at Holy Name Hospital, holds a full time job at Overlook Hospital and another part time position at Bio Reference Labs in New Jersey.

Merino is charged with desecrating human remains in the second degree. His bail has been set at $400,000.

Merino is also expected to undergo a psychological evaluation and is restricted from working in a health care facility."

Monday, October 29, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

Recently I told you that I don't care about or pay any attention to sports. So you know it must be bad when even I'm commenting on a sport-related item.

Last week, Rudy Giuliani informed a crowd at a stop on the campaign trail in MA that he is rooting for the Red Socks. I can only hope that this two-faced act will show the rest of the country why most New Yorkers have always despised him.

So, here he is, former (thank god) NYC Mayor and presidential-praying piece of shit, Rudy Giuliani, let the meanness begin!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Pissing Me Off Today

the obese woman on the train this morning who didn't think it would be necessary for her to move out of the doorway when the train stopped at 34th street to let half the passengers off the car. I wonder what would have happened if I shouted out loud what I was thinking in my head - "Move it fat ass"!

my morning coffee-cart guy who is MIA today. Not only does he sell the best coffee in this neighborhood but he is conveniently located directly outside my building entrance. This weak crap I was forced to go out of my way for is no substitute.

the mindless PR tool whose idiotic emails I have to take time to respond to.

It's really turning out to be one hell of a morning!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Dead or Alive?

This past weekend, I was hanging out with Seth and Kitty and during a typical conversation had an idea for a new recurring post. The gist of this post is so simple and obvious that I would be surprised if someone else isn't already doing it on a blog or other form or media. If someone else is doing it, I've never heard of you and, quite frankly, it's not my fault that you have so little buzz that you've remained unheard of to me.*

With that said, the new post is titled "Dead or Alive?" The rules are simple, I post a picture and ask the question, Dead or Alive? then you answer.

Up first, television's Jonathan Winters, dead or alive?




*I know there are plenty of sites that allow you to search out whether specific people are dead or alive but I don't know of any that ask the readers to make a game of it.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Just Because ...

it's so much fun,

Monday, October 22, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

After teasing us with fall-like weather for 2 full days, the weather in NYC is once again balmy and heading for the 80s.

So for this week's Mean Spirited Monday, lets turn our weather rage towards the person responsible for this mess, Mother Nature. Let the meanness begin!

Friday, October 19, 2007

I Told You So

Remember back in August I told you about the Army's killer robot thingy? Well, the world moved one step closer to the Terminator style future I mentioned in that post.

Apparently the Oerlikon GDF-005 anti-aircraft gun robot went berserk and killed 9 members of the South African National Defense Force before it was finally shut down.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Robots don't like us.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Shocking!


I never thought in a million years that I would say or type the following words but, I think the MTA has a great idea with these street compasses on the sidewalks outside of subway entrances.

Back in the old days, whenever I exited an unfamiliar subway stop, I would look for the Twin Towers in the distance to orient myself. Now, I sometimes wander an entire block in the wrong direction before realizing what has happened.

I'm sure the MTA will find a way to screw up this great idea (like making the decals too small for more than 2 or 3 people to view at once, thereby causing more congestion at the tops of the subway stairs as confused idiots form a crowd to see what everyone else is looking at) but I'm going to just hope it all works out.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I Have A Confession To Make

Anyone who has known me for a while won't find this confession the least bit surprising but others may be shocked and disgusted. Here it goes, I have absolutely no interest whatsoever in sports.

I couldn't give a flying fig if your favorite team just won or lost the pennant. In fact, I don't even know if the World's Series has happened yet. I know it happens sometime soon because Turkey and Jdizzle came to visit recently and there was a lot of talk (on their part) about the Phillies and the World Series. Did the Phillies win? Is it over? When does foot ball start? I only ask because foot ball games seem to take place on Sunday a lot and they always run late invariable screwing up the recording times of my Sunday programs.

There you have it. The ugly truth. Think of me as you will.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week's M.S.M. subject was suggested by Kelly and he is the perfect candidate for meanness. I don't know why but everybody I know seems to hate this guy. It's non other than actor and perpetual skulker, Adam Goldberg. Let the meanness begin!

Friday, October 12, 2007

Jeffrah's Book Club

So, I know at our last book club meeting I told you I was reading Memoirs of a Buccaneer, Dampier's New Voyage Round The World by William Dampier. Unfortunately, I decided to put this one aside and save it for summer. It's a great book but it just wasn't sucking me in as I had hoped and I think first-hand tales of pirates and treasure will make for a great beach read.

So I decided to go old school classic and picked up The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Five hours later, I had finished one of the best books I have read in a long time.

Sure, I was supposed to read Gatsby in school like everyone else but I never cared much for being told what to read. I either skimmed the Cliff's Notes or just cheated my way through most lit examines. If you did the same, or its been so long since you read The Great Gatsby and the years of drinking have wiped the memory of it from your booze-addled brain, then I highly recommend giving this classic another look.

I enjoyed it so much that I decided to read another Fitzgerald novel, The Beautiful And Damned. I'll let you know how that one is as soon as I finish it.

So, what's everybody else reading?

Thursday, October 11, 2007

HELP! **Update**

**Update**


Since I'm sure you are all dieing to know how I dealt with my zipper conundrum, I slowly walked to the nearest department store, where I purchased a new pair of jeans to get me through the rest of the day.

**Update**



I just got back to my desk after walking a few blocks to grab lunch. The whole time I was on the street I felt the strangest sensation - a cool breeze on my crotch. My first thought was that my fly was down so I discreetly checked to make sure the zipper pull thingy was up where it belonged. It wasn't until I got back to my office that I realized the pull thingy was in the right place but the entire zipper had broken and separated and sure enough my fly was open. Thanks a lot J-Crew for such durable craftsmanship.

So now I'm back at my desk with a busted zipper that won't work and therefore my fly is permanently stuck in the open position. So what should I do?

Zombies On My Brain

Last night, Seth, Kitty, Kitty's Husband and I saw Resident Evil Extinction and now we are all ready to kick some zombie ass! This is the third film in the RE series and judging by the ending, may not be the last. I won't give anything away in case you haven't seen it yet but rest assured, its worth it!

Zombie movies are my favorite style of horror flick and I've always been a bit obsessed with zombies. The only recurring nightmare I've ever had has been the one I have several times a year in which I'm being chased by zombies. I think this obsession has a lot to do with my germophobic hang-ups since zombie-ism is a rapidly spreading infection. But that only affects the living population, there are also the zombies that crawl out from the graves in search of brains. When I "go", I plan to be cremated to avoid coming back as one of the walking dead.

Until then, I'm working on building my zombie-safe refuge in the wilderness of upstate New York. When the outbreak happens, you are all welcome on the refuge but be prepared for a full body inspection first because if I see any bite marks, you aren't getting in.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

I'm Ready to Fall Back

Is anybody else having a difficult time getting out of bed in the morning when it's so dark out? I keep thinking it must be raining or something is wrong with my clock and it's actually the middle of the night. Well I have just what you need to make getting up on a dark morning a whole lot easier - Seth's latest podcast.

It's a funky fun number sure to get you in the get-up, featuring Sly and the Family Stone with just the right amount of Sethence added to the mix. Listen now at Seth In Brooklyn and enjoy!

Monday, October 08, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

We held another stoop sale over the weekend. This one was a little more impromptu than the last, which is why I didn't mention it here last week. Usually when we hold a stoop sale, I like to set a goal for what I'm going to spend the money we make on. Sometimes that goal is just beer and booze. For the stoop sale we held a few weeks ago, the goal was to make enough money to buy a new printer/scanner/copier machine. We made enough and, as an informed consumer, I've been searching around for the best deal on this machine.

Last week I stepped into Staples and picked up the weekly circular to see the printer I've had my eye on prominently displayed on the front page and marked down $35! Sweet! Well of course they didn't have any in stock so I went to another location by my office to hear the same story. Finally, at a third Staples (all within a few blocks of where I work) the salesperson let me in on a little truth, Staples hasn't carried this model for a while and only use the ad to lure people in and then sucker them into buying the new model. From what I can tell, the new model does the exact same job as the last one but costs about $60 more.

Which brings me to this week's Mean Spirited Monday - Mass Market Stores. You might not have a Staples story of your own to bitch about so feel free to use the comments section to sound off on any of these giant shop-orama shit-shows. And remember, be mean spirited!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Tomorrow, Leprachons at the Met


I'm not sure if you can clearly read the type on this subway car advertisement. It reads, "MYTHIC CREATURES, Unicorns, Dragons, and Mermaids. The Museum of Natural History".

Does anyone else think this is an odd exhibit for a museum of Natural History?

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

While I'm Sleeping

I know I've been shirking my blogging duties a lot lately and I promise, we will have a cozy fireside chat soon when I'll tell you about all the things I've been doing other than blogging. In the meantime, if you are feeling a little Jeff-deficient, then pop on over to Nocturnal Admission, where Kelly has recently launched a new section to make fun of me called "Jeff-isms".

WTF!?

The words "humid" and "muggy" should never need to be associated with the date October 3. Right now we should be thinking about gourdes, pumpkin-spice lattes, sweaters and road trips through New England to enjoy the fall foliage (no, I've never actually done that either but I think about it every year on October 3).

Instead, as I've done for the past four months, I started my day off thinking about what I could wear that would be appropriate for work but not cause me to sweat to death before getting there. Welcome to the tropical island of Manhattan!

I guess I'll just have to sit here in my short-sleeves with the AC cranked up and stair at this lovely photo.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Mean Spirited Mondays

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

I don't know about you but I don't write too many checks these days. The only check I write regularly is for my rent. So it's been a while since I've had to order new checks. In fact, the address printed on my checks is an apartment I lived in seven years ago.

As it turns out, I'm finally getting down to the last 10 checks or so, which can probably last me half a year but I decided to play it safe and order new ones. I know that I could have done that online or even through the ATM, but the whole checkbook concept seems so antiquated that I thought it would best to go the old fashioned route and actually enter a bank and speak to a human being. This process was simple and after a few minutes with the customer service person, I was assured my checks would arrive in 7 days. Seventeen days later, I received a starter set of checks numbered 1 through 50. That's all! So now I'll being going to the internets and ordering the correct checks on my own.

This long winded story brings me to today's victim, J.P. Morgan from J.P. Morgan Chase Manhattan Bank. I realize you might not bank with Chase but surely you have a frustrating bank experience of your own so I invite you to take it out on Mr. Morgan in the comments section.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Please Stand By

I've got a lot going on right now hence the lack of a new post since Monday. As soon as I have a minute (hopefully sometime today) I'll do a proper post and fill you in on all the doings around here.

Until then, enjoy this lovely photo:



It's our old friend, Couch Potato. Here CP is doing a shot at Turkey & T-Bone's wedding. I think this picture was taken shortly before CP took off all his clothes and streaked across the dance floor. Rumor has it that CP and Cousin Katie hooked up that night. Can anyone confirm that?

Monday, September 24, 2007

Mean Spirited Monday

Every Monday morning I post a picture of some random celebrity, or non-celebrity for you to comment on. Remember to have fun and be mean spirited with your comments.

This week, smug asshole and law-breaking citizen, O.J. Simpson. Let the meanness begin!