I have no idea what show was on the TV when I turned it on but I managed to catch this little spippet before changing the channel:
Hello!? Heather Locklear and Jack Wagner are not only dating, but she is hiding out at Pity Me Pines! That's bad news for all the rest of the nut jobs being treated there because you know Eve Cleary is lurking around in her high school cheerleader uniform just waiting to blow it up.
I think we all know how this relationship is going to end. Heather and Jack will fake their own deaths and pay Thomas Calabro $1 million dollars to keep quiet about it. While the world mourns the deaths of Heather and Jack, the sexy duo will be strolling along a remote beach, hand in hand, listening to Closing Time by Semisonic.