Thursday, May 15, 2008

I Have A Question

Why do uptight, Felix Unger, Jesus-loving Christians apply to be on the Real World? Have these people never watched an episode? In the past 302 seasons of the Real World, every season* has had the following:

Spoiler Alert! What you are about to read is a fabrication of highly sensitive Jeff Ideas. Many spies died to bring you the following:

Real World Casting Call
Four (4) borderline Leaving-Las-Vegas alcoholics
One Straight douche-bag white guy
One slightly nonthreatening but large black guy
One unbelievably prissy cheerleader girl

The only common thread among the multiplying legions of Real World housemates is the predisposition to live their televised lives as if it were the last Spring Break on Earth. I couldn't be more jealous. In fact, I auditioned for the Real World once and received a lovely rejection letter addressed to "John." That's a story for another time.

My long-winded point is this: people want to be on the Real World so they can spend three (3) months of their lives getting trashed, fucking idiots, and maybe visiting India. Sure those kids will need passports but are they prepared for the most disgusting smells they will ever encounter?

If your idea of a good time is reading the bible than do the viewing public a favor and stay home until the final judgment.

Everyone else, you should be watching the Real World Hollywood - It's terrific!.

* The very first Real World (showed real people in a real life setting) rumored to have taken place in the later part of the 20th century.


  1. I used to love the Real World but can no longer stomach it. It's the same thing every year and It's just boring. I want to see a real world where all the cast members are black or gay except one. THAT would be entertaining. Instead I'm stuck with a bunch of better-than-you white, straight morons who just want to drink until they puke. I hate them.


  2. "I'm stuck with a bunch of better-than-you white, straight morons who just want to drink until they puke." I'm looking forward to your visit this month also.

  3. Denver was the last season for me.

    Ran in to Davis and he was a douche.