Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Super Happy Terrific Products

It's no secret that I'm a fairly unreasonable germophobe. I'll consistently go out of my way to avoid touching anything with my hands that may have been touched already by the general public. While I haven't reached Howard Hughes levels of insanity yet (I gingerly touch a bathroom door handle to get out rather than wait for someone else to open the door from the outside) I have no doubt that this phobia will only get worse as I get older.

Which brings us to today's Super Happy Terrific Products - the Handler!

Apparently this little hook dohicky is strong enough to pull open a door, press a toilet handle, touch the buttons on an A.T.M., etc. The product description also includes some falderal about being infused with nano silver particles which effectively kill 98% of all single-celled organisms (bacteria, viruses and fungi) on contact. Whatever.

Its usually sold on Amazon for $10.95 but appears to be out of stock right now. I'll keep checking back and let you know as soon as they are available.


  1. I saw this about a year ago, and almost bought a million of them. But the key is not to allow yrself to descend into the depths of madness, but to rather "MacGyver" yr way out of sticky situations. Use the environment to your advantage. Size up the bathroom before you wash those hands. Where are the paper towels? Are there none? Well, then it's time to grab some tp, tuck it under your clean, shirtsleeved arm, and use it as backup. Then you open the door and bank shot the refuse into a nearby garbage can, whilst holding the door with an ankle. No can? Hell with it. Someone's getting paid to clean that place. Are they paying you to get a staph infection? I doubt it.

    It's about controlling the environment, not the other way around. YEAH!

    I know you hear me, Jeff.

  2. OMG!!!

    This little gadget would be like walking around with a hook hand!

    I think it would make me feel all piratey and stuff.

  3. Alienwhere, it sounds like you think about these things as much as I do. I agree that we have to control the environment and usually the bathroom presents some choices but what about that ATM or Metrocard machines?

    Lioux - Arrgh!

  4. Why not just go for the full-body condom? Or become the next Bubble Boy?

  5. Why not just go for the full-body condom? Or become the next Bubble Boy?

    In this heat? Are you crazy?!

  6. Jeff you are living in the wrong city to be a germaphobe. How many dirty, stinky people ride those subways and pick their noses and grab the handles. yuck. I don't know how you do it.

  7. I don't know how you do it.

    I drink. A lot.

  8. Kelly1:35 PM

    I can't wait to get one of these. especially if you can hang onto the subway poles with it. i think i too shall feel like a pirate

  9. OMG, I am such a germophobe as well.

    I think almost to Howard Hughes levels.

    I so want one of these.

    Get this, the water is out in our office for three days, and normally I can easily wash my hands at a little kitchenette by me.

    But not now.

    It's killing me.

    Rather than make 50 trips to the bathroom in the other department, I just spray my hands with Windex.

    Sad, I know.

  10. Easily Impressed11:18 PM

    I'm just struck by your use of the word "falderal" -- I've never seen it in print before. That's going in my next game of Scrabble.

  11. I love it. Can I use it to hold on in the subway?

    I drink. A lot.

    Me too.

  12. Yeah the subway and the door handles in the porn office are the main things I'm bugged to touch. I wash my hands as soon as I get in from touching the subway handholds.