Monday, July 23, 2007

I'm Still Ready For The Summer!

After a week of fun and sun at the beach we return to our drab and bleak existences, with nothing to look forward to until Christmas. Yes, I know I'm being a little dramatic but vacation was a blast! Thanks Kitty for keeping an eye on things around here, I love that Nubbin story. And thanks for watching the cats. They said they had a lot of fun with you and I noticed that none of their chores were done so I imagine you let them get away with a lot more than we do.

Now that vacation is over, I'm making a conscious effort to keep summer-vacation Jeff (or "Snack" as I somehow became known over the week) alive and kicking. With just a few simple life changes, I plan to bring the holiday home and so can you! Following are a few of my ideas and I hope you add your own in the comments section.

1. Drink more beer and drink it more frequently.

At home I normally opt for vodka because I've convinced myself it has less calories and fat than beer. On vacation, I only drink vodka for breakfast before cracking open my first cold one. For now on, I choose to limit my vodka consumption to Bloody Marys (which should never be drank after the sun sets) and go with beer at all other times.

2. Eat more junk food.
So what if its compressed into a can, it's still cheese isn't it?

3. Wear shorts and flip-flops to work.

I don't want to get anyone into trouble with this one so check with your human resource department first. If you are anything like me and are grossed out by your feet being so exposed on the subway, then do what I'm doing and wear Vans to work and keep a pair of flip-flops at the office to change into. It's sort of like Mr. Rodgers meets Jeff Spicoli.

4. Shower less.
A little sunscreen can go a long way in fighting body odor and it will help you fight the sun's harmful cancer light. So rather than jumping in the shower every morning, just slab a little Coppertone on.

5. Install an outdoor shower on your terrace or roof.
Lets face it, your are going to have to take the occasional shower and nothing says vacation like showering outdoors. If you don't have a terrace or roof access, try a fire escape and hose attached to the kitchen sink.

6. Get but naked!.
Whether you believe in evolution or creationism pull your head out of your ass clothing is man made. So why conform to man's restrictions? If you are a little trepidatious about this one, take baby steps by skinny dipping. Then you can move on to skinny hot-tubbing, streaking on the beach and eventually you will be skinny rocking-chairing.

That's about all I can think of right now so I hope you can help add to this list.


  1. Welcome back BTW!!! Missed your comments.

    I like to keep the summer going by having those little umbrellas around the office so i can brighten up my coffee.

    I have also purchased a surrey to drive around my neighborhood. Just like on the boardwalk.

  2. Thanks jdiz!

    I like the surrey idea. Do you shout "Watch the surrey please" at people while cruising in it? Are you talking about cocktail umbrellas or beach umbrellas?

  3. Snack is back!

    I'm keeping the vacation going by drinking vodka from my water bottle.

    BTW, I've got pictures of the naked rocking-chairing if anyone wants to make me an offer.

  4. Kelly, I'm sure I can find worse pictures of you so just keep those pics to yourself.

  5. Yes, you definitely shout "Watch the tram car!"

    Drink umbrellas my man. Although the thought of setting up a beach umbrella at my desk is very appealing.

  6. I've gone as far as to pretend like I'm on vacation for the majority of the year. I find I'm a much happier person in general.

  7. glad you had a great time and are keeping the vacay dream alive. also, if you drink light beer, you will totally be in shape!

  8. Sally - I like your spirit. I'm going to start shouting "Cannonball!" when I get on an elevator.

    Colleen - Thanks for being such a great enabler.

  9. #11: In summertime, do absolutely no work whatsoever in the office. Tell yourself that it can wait until September.

  10. My band Sister Kisser®™©™ just came back from an AWESOME road trip. We're trying to keep our summer going too, by just partying like rock stars!