Wednesday, August 22, 2007

You Can't Take It With You

To be fair, I don't know a lot about Leona Helmsley. It is possible that she got an undeserved bad rap but I doubt that she achieved the universally recognized moniker, "The Queen of Mean" because of her charitable contributions and sunny demeanor. Whatever she was when alive, her decaying corpse will be spending eternity like a Roman empress in lavish afterlife opulence.

Helmsley will be entombed in a $1.4 million mausoleum in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery. The 1,300-square foot granite mausoleum features a dozen Doric columns and stained glass windows that recreate the Manhattan skyline.

1,300-square feet!? You could fit my entire apartment, which by NYC standards is a good size, in that crypt and still have room for a cemetery's worth of corpses. What a waste of money, resources and land.


  1. Jeff, maybe you could pack up your stuff and move into her tomb?

  2. Anonymous12:29 PM

    She was a wretched cunt. I had a friend who did gardening at a few of her buildings. Whenever she would arrive or leave it was like the Devil Wears Prada, when Meryl Streep would enter the building. All the employees (the little people) scrambling around. You weren't allowed to look at her. Kinda like Prince. Evil never dies, that's why she needs at least 1600 sq. feet to roam for eternity.

  3. Jdizz, I don't want to live with the ghost of a wretched cunt.

    Anonymous, lets hope the Ghostbusters are standing by in case her ghost tries to get out.

  4. At first I thought that was a picture of Jack Nicholson from Batman.

  5. Can't figure out if sshe looks like the joker or my mom in that picture.

  6. yea this really gets my goat (hmmm that's the first time i've used that phrase)

    People that entomb themselves liek this are so fucking ridiculous... all that pretty shit for a rotting corpse. But yea, she's a cunt, there was no way she was donating all her money to the boys and girls club.