HOLLYWOOD PASTRY ATTACK

The following story was e-mailed to me yesterday about an incident that took place at a Starbucks in Hollywood last month. I have two questions after reading this story:
1. starbucksgossip.com? 2. Josh, where were you on the morning of September 26?

From starbucksgossip.com
September 26, 2006

LOCAL STARBUCKS PATRONS BUZZING ABOUT BRUTAL PASTRY
CASE ATTACK

An incident at a Hollywood Starbucks early yesterday
morning involving a naked man experiencing a violent
hankering for some crumble cake is all the talk lately
among employees and regulars:

At 5am this morning, a drunken naked guy used a sock
full of rocks to shatter the glass on the front door,
and stormed inside to eat "all the pastries". Police
responded and found the guy running around the
store, resisting arrest. He had feathers in his hair
and an American flag... although it wasn't explained
if this was a large or small flag, or where it was
placed (or, perhaps, raised). The cops had to use
rubber bullets and a beanbag shotgun to subdue him.

The origins of the feral "Scone Boy," as local lore
has already dubbed him, remain a mystery. Perhaps we
shall never know what led to the sad, desperate
scenario in which he found himself cornered and
snapping viciously at the encroaching fingers of law
officials as he greedily fed on day-old pumpkin spice
muffins, only to be knocked unconscious with a
high-velocity beanbag to the side of his
feather-adorned head. To end on a more upbeat note,
however, the colorful event should provide plenty of
creative inspiration to the franchise's core clientele
of aspiring screenwriters and derelict producers, and
it won't be long before multiple, scripted versions of
the events start circulating around the gourmet coffee
circuit, each offering their individualized, explosive
take on the shocking true crime tale.