Check It Out

Its been a while since I posted anything Star Wars related (at least I don't remember posting anything Star Wars related recently) and technically, I'm not posting anything about Star Wars right now. Instead, I'm telling everyone to visit Zombie Fights Shark for the most bizarre/hysterical Star Wars related whatever I have seen all day.

Zombie Fights Shark!: Ewok Celebration Song... Barbershop Style!

Is It Friday Yet?

This is shaping up to be one hell of a week and when I use the word "hell" I mean insanely busy.

Tonight I'm going to Cyndi Lauper's True Colors show. Cyndi, and a ton of other acts including Deborah Harry and Erasure, are playing at Radio City Music Hall, which should be a fun place to see a concert. The only other time I've been there was for the Christmas Craptacular.

Tomorrow, I'll be trucking my fat ass over to the Javits Convention Center (my least favorite place to go in NYC) for a trade show (my least favorite aspect of my job). After spending the day there I'm off to Bubba Gum's Shrimp something in Times Square for a party being thrown by Paramount. Talk about cheap, doesn't Paramount own that restaurant?

On Wednesday, I have a meeting with the producers, including Gelman, of Live With Regis & Kelly to discuss a toy segment we are producing for Thursday's show. I'm also meeting with Disney that day to check out their latest video games. Then Thursday its back to the Live studios for the actual show after which, I'll head back to my office to try and get everything I didn't do during the week done. Thursday night I plan to get good and drunk then sleep it off most of Friday.

PS. I should include here, for anyone that doesn't know, I'm very lazy and would rather hang out at home with a 6-pack than do just about anything else.

Super Happy Terrific Products

I could start a new section on this blog that just covers insane USB devices and never run out of products to cover. The latest, and possibly craziest, USB device I have come across lately is the USB Butt Cooler from Japanese (big surprise) company, Thanko.

Apparently it is a pad that sits on your chair and gives off cool air. Of course the whole thing is powered by your computer through a standard USB hook-up. So say good buy to summer office swamp crotch and thank you to Thanko for the USB Butt Cooler.

Political Diatribe #1

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UPDATE! Since first publishing the below post, Paris Hilton has been ordered to return to jail! I'd like to think this post had something to do with that so please just let me keep believing that.
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If you have read this blog from time to time you've probably noticed that I rarely discuss politics, the "news" or celebrity gossip. My stance on these topics is that there are entirely too many outlets vomiting up that information so there is no need for me to regurgitate what you already know or can easily read on E, cnn or the Wall Street Journal.

That's why it pains me to type this post. My conscience and too much beer has the better of me at the moment and I must tell you how fucking* pissed off I am about P. Hilton being released from jail after serving just two days of her sentence.

Let me start by saying, I have nothing against Paris Hilton. I publicly admit that I enjoy 'The Simple Life' and even have her song from last summer on my iPod (what can I say, I like crap pop music). What pisses me off about this whole debacle, is that it proves the American legal system is a complete bullshit farce where those with money and power can do whatever they want and get away with it.

Lets imagine for a moment that you, assuming you are like me and not a billionaire celebrity, get arrested for drunk driving. here is what will happen, you will lose your license, get hit with a fee and spend several months worth of time in Wednesday evening classes with your fellow unlucky ripped roadsters. Now, heaven forbid during the time you should be in "class" you get picked up by the cops for driving with a suspended license. Guess what? You are fucked! You are going to jail for the maximum time allotted, not some bullshit two week stint with "special needs" privileges. and once you get there, you are in! No one is going to let YOU out after two days because you are having medical problems can't handle it.

So why did Paris get preferential treatment from the United States government? Because her family has power and oodles of money!

During the Civil War, the draft was enacted under the title, "the Enrollment Act". This act contained several paragraphs of small print exemptions, which allowed any man who was drafted to buy his way out of service if he could pay the "commutation fee" of $300.00 (a huge sum back then).

Eventually this insane and entirely prejudicial law led to the Draft Riots in New York City. Angry mobs of poor people who would never come close to raising that kind of money went on a destructive rampage, taking out their rage and frustration on the city's black citizens. As the angry mob made its way uptown towards the mansions of 5th Avenue, the army was called in, fresh from the battle at Gettysburg, to put the riot down.

I'm not saying that everyone who isn't a hotel heiress should rebel and riot against the government. But how can a country that we were all raised to believe was founded on equality and freedom allow its officers and law keepers to exhibit such blatant preferential treatment? What sort of example does this latest miscarriage of justice set for the rest of us? Why don't we all start breaking laws and cite the case of Paris Hilton vs. The Legal System of the United States of America as our defense?

Ok, I'm off my soap box and promise to return to my usual format of post that deal with how drunk I was last night.


*This is the first time in the history of my blog that I have typed the word "fuck".

Super Happy Terrific Products

A few months ago I posted about the liquid decanting flip-flops or "booze-flops as I like to call them. Well check out these new additions to the James Bond Summer Fun line - secret compartment flip-flops. Whereas the idea of drinking something that came out of my shoe was both titillating and revolting, these little numbers actually look like a great idea. Just imagine being at the beach and not having to resort to the tip of your sneaker for stashing your valuables (Yes, we all know you put your money, license and keys in your shoe before running into the waves).

I Want One!

I'm reluctant to share this tasty morsel because I can think of a few people who read this blog that may be receiving this item from me for their next birthday. But I've never been very good at keeping my mouth shut so let me tell you all about the most bizzar thing I have seen today.


It's called the Bacon Wallet and yes, its for real. Don't worry, I don't mean that its actually made of bacon but rather it's a real wallet. Made of leather, the Bacon Wallet is sure to garner you grossed out looks when you pull it out of your pocket at the checkout line.