Friday, June 08, 2007

Political Diatribe #1

UPDATE! Since first publishing the below post, Paris Hilton has been ordered to return to jail! I'd like to think this post had something to do with that so please just let me keep believing that.

If you have read this blog from time to time you've probably noticed that I rarely discuss politics, the "news" or celebrity gossip. My stance on these topics is that there are entirely too many outlets vomiting up that information so there is no need for me to regurgitate what you already know or can easily read on E, cnn or the Wall Street Journal.

That's why it pains me to type this post. My conscience and too much beer has the better of me at the moment and I must tell you how fucking* pissed off I am about P. Hilton being released from jail after serving just two days of her sentence.

Let me start by saying, I have nothing against Paris Hilton. I publicly admit that I enjoy 'The Simple Life' and even have her song from last summer on my iPod (what can I say, I like crap pop music). What pisses me off about this whole debacle, is that it proves the American legal system is a complete bullshit farce where those with money and power can do whatever they want and get away with it.

Lets imagine for a moment that you, assuming you are like me and not a billionaire celebrity, get arrested for drunk driving. here is what will happen, you will lose your license, get hit with a fee and spend several months worth of time in Wednesday evening classes with your fellow unlucky ripped roadsters. Now, heaven forbid during the time you should be in "class" you get picked up by the cops for driving with a suspended license. Guess what? You are fucked! You are going to jail for the maximum time allotted, not some bullshit two week stint with "special needs" privileges. and once you get there, you are in! No one is going to let YOU out after two days because you are having medical problems can't handle it.

So why did Paris get preferential treatment from the United States government? Because her family has power and oodles of money!

During the Civil War, the draft was enacted under the title, "the Enrollment Act". This act contained several paragraphs of small print exemptions, which allowed any man who was drafted to buy his way out of service if he could pay the "commutation fee" of $300.00 (a huge sum back then).

Eventually this insane and entirely prejudicial law led to the Draft Riots in New York City. Angry mobs of poor people who would never come close to raising that kind of money went on a destructive rampage, taking out their rage and frustration on the city's black citizens. As the angry mob made its way uptown towards the mansions of 5th Avenue, the army was called in, fresh from the battle at Gettysburg, to put the riot down.

I'm not saying that everyone who isn't a hotel heiress should rebel and riot against the government. But how can a country that we were all raised to believe was founded on equality and freedom allow its officers and law keepers to exhibit such blatant preferential treatment? What sort of example does this latest miscarriage of justice set for the rest of us? Why don't we all start breaking laws and cite the case of Paris Hilton vs. The Legal System of the United States of America as our defense?

Ok, I'm off my soap box and promise to return to my usual format of post that deal with how drunk I was last night.

*This is the first time in the history of my blog that I have typed the word "fuck".


  1. OK. It was so much fun meeting you last night--rest assured I am blogging about it immediately. On the subject of this post, though, are you really surprised?
    And speaking of the Draft Riots, is it so different today? It's not exactly the rich kids who are dying over in Iraq. I guess the diff is no one is getting drafted, but no one is rioting either. It's more like, "Here, have this college education--if you live!"

  2. I couldn't agree with you more. Just spent 15 minutes fuming about this with two other coworkers. There's an article about this in the New York Post that's really funny and verges on parody. This is excerpted by the Post from an article that an anonymous friend gave to OK! magazine. I quote:

    "It's so cruel what has happened to her," the friend told OK! "She wasn't allowed to wax or use a moisturizer. Her skin is so dry right now!"

    And no, I didn't make that up. It's really in the Post.

  3. Colleen - It was great meeting you also. I'm writing a post about last night now as well.
    As for this post - I was thinking the same thing about who is going to Iraq.

    ha ha - If I had know that Paris had already suffered two whole days without moisturizer, I never would have wrote this post. Obviously after reading her friend's quote, Paris has paid her debt to society. How long do you think we think we will have to wait for her gripping book that chronicles her harrowing ordeal?

  4. Anonymous12:09 PM

    As for Paris, all I can say is I just wish she (along with Brittney, Lindsay Lohan, and hell half of Hollywood) would just go away...Every day it amazes me how much precious space they take up in "news" publications that could be reporting about real issues.

    As for Iraq, I just like to gently remind you all that rich does not equal well educated and I can personally attest that there are plenty of college and even graduate school educated (engineers, nurses, dr.s, linguists) fighting this horrible war for all of us.

    Okay, off the soapbox.

  5. JDIzzle1:17 PM


  6. Paris Hilton®™©™1:35 PM

    That's unhot.

  7. Preach it. We talk all the talk about equality but all the inequality will forever fester just underneath the surface. IT's like lifting the floorboards to spot the roach infestation.

  8. JDizzle3:24 PM

    Did you see that she is being sent back to jail!!! Justice!

  9. Nicole Richie5:55 PM

    If you think her dry skin is bad, you should see her without her weave.