Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Genteel Geoff Says

Modern life is fraught with social dilemmas and quandaries. Today we are faced with more vexing questions than simply when is it appropriate to wear white and what fork do I eat my salad with. To help you navigate politely through life's perplexing problems, we have enlisted the help of mannerly polite-ician, Genteel Geoff, to answer your questions. If you have a question for Genteel Geoff, email him at

Dear Genteel Geoff,

Yesterday on my way home from work, I was going in the subway at the 42nd street Bryan Park stop. I stopped in the turnstile as I always do and propped my bag up on the shelf to my left to find my metrocard. Out of nowheres some person comes up and axes me to move my bag so they can get threw the turnstile on my left. It was a good thing for that mofo that it took me another 10 minutes to find my card cause I was gonna catch him and beat his ass.

Whats up with that?
Anita Sue-Simmons

Dear ASS,

Allow me to begin by saying that I am familiar with the Bryan"T" Park subway station. This particular station possesses such an abundance of underground space adjacent to the turnstiles, that you will find the MTA "ticket booth, a florist with a wonderful selection of cut flowers and small plants, and a full newsstand stocked with daily periodicals and monthly magazines. Might I suggest that in the future, today for example, you take advantage of the spaciousness of this station and stand clear of the turnstiles as you dig through your rudely over-sized bag in search of your Metrocard. You see, ASS, by standing in one turnstile and propping your bag on the card scanner of another, you are blocking two of the four turnstiles that are actually in working order.

This may come as a shock to you, but you are not the only person in New York City. I imagine you also choose to stand on the subway station steps to finish phone calls or cigarettes and probably stop at the immediate top of an escalator to gather your bearings. If you were to take your head out of your bag, ASS, you might notice the millions of other New Yorkers around you, who also just want to go home or do a little shopping. If everyone of those New Yorkers were as oblivious to each other as you, none of us would ever get anywhere.

So try being a little more aware of those around you and remember, ASS, that manners are the glue that hold society together.

Genteel Geoff


  1. OMG!!!

    I Love, Love, Love this "Genteel Geoff Says" feature!

  2. What an AssHat.

  3. Awesome post. Now if you can only do something about those people who insist on stopping right in the middle of the sidewalk to take photos or make cell phone calls, I'll vote for you for mayor.

  4. oh man. Do I ever love ASS.