Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Genteel Geoff Says

Modern life is fraught with social dilemmas and quandaries. Today we are faced with more vexing questions than simply when is it appropriate to wear white and what fork do I eat my salad with. To help you navigate politely through life's perplexing problems, we have enlisted the help of mannerly polite-ician, Genteel Geoff, to answer your questions. If you have a question for Genteel Geoff, email him at

Dear Genteel Geoff,

I like to finish my cell phone calls on the steps leading into the subway. Is this wrong?

Astoria Terrace

Dear F.A.T.,

Whether you are referring to the underground transit system or hoi polloi "hoagie" shop, the answer is the same - you are an ill-mannered clod and the turd clogging the pipes of progress. Those stairwells are designed with just enough room for two columns of average sized strap-hangers to politely pass one another. One column enters the station while the other exits. When a dunderhead such as yourself galumphs along the stair and comes to a stop in order to finish your undoubtedly trivial chat, the entire enter-and-exit system is thrown off.

In the future, kindly finish your mobile conversation on the sidewalk, taking care to stand clear of the steps entirely. Remember F.A.T., manners are the glue that holds society together.

Genteel Geoff

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