Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Always Something There To Remind Me

I'm working on a new theory that states "People who wear too much cologne or perfume probably live alone".

The premise of this theory is that if they lived with someone else, that person would warn them in the morning of their over zealous odor deployment.

"Honey, you smell like a French whore house. Don't you think you went a little overboard on the perfume?"


"Babe, I haven't smelled that much cologne since attending that Drakar party in 1985."

Don't get me wrong, I think having a signature sent is great. But here are a few olefactory facts to keep in mind:

1. You don't want to leave an odor wake 40 feet behind you.
2. Your aromatic aura shouldn't remain in an elevator 50 floors after you have left.
3. Having your reputation proceed you is good. Having your scent proceed you is not.
4. An average size bottle of perfume or cologne should last longer than one week.

And keep the following in mind when applying your scent each morning. A little dab will do you but downright dousing will doom you.


  1. I enjoy this theory.

    I will try and keep it in mind when I open next week's bottle of cologne.

  2. hoar? that one's giving me a good chuckle this morning. are you confusing whores with boars?

  3. Lioux - Sounds like you live alone?

    Kelly - Oops! I guess that overpowering perfume stench on the elevator this morning has affected my spelling, which is usually so good.

  4. Or you could just do what I do: Let your man-musk do the talkin'! Yes... so, what's this "cologne" now, anyway?

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  6. I always like to splash on a little Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries.

    Yep, it's made with bits of real panther. So you know it's good. It's a formidable scent.

  7. Clinton, "Man-Musk" conjures up images of 1980's, Cannonball Run Burt Reynolds.

    Digital, I hope you know which 9 countries so that you don't get arrested while traveling abroad.