Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I Gave At The Office

The other day I set out to take care of a few errands - haircut, drugstore, and sandwich shop - all conveniently located on the same block. Since that super convenient block is just one block away from my apartment I decided I could survive outdoors for this short period without my life-soundtrack so I left the iPod at home. Big mistake!

It turns out, I wasn't the only one with business to attend to on that block. The area was crawling with petition pricks. I know they are just doing their jobs. I actually met a lovely girl over the weekend who actually did this job once. But that doesn't change the fact that I am not interested in anything someone on the street wants to tell me. It doesn't matter if they have tickets to the funniest comedienne of all time, want to tell me about senator so-and-so's position on abortion, have free samples of a revolutionary new shampoo or are saving the environment - I'm not interested!

That doesn't mean I'm not interested in those causes, after all, who wouldn't want a revolutionary new shampoo plus, I'm already doing my part to save the environment - I use CFC bulbs and public transportation and only put the AC on when its hot outside. I'm just leery of any stranger that stops me on the sidewalk because no matter how the pitch starts, I know its going to end with them asking for money, which in my book is panhandling.

So anyway, one of the donation vultures was set up right in front of the place where I get my haircut and without my iPod, I couldn't play it off as if I was so into my music I was magically transporting out of my body and therefore there is no way I could even notice him. Fortunately, since he was standing right by the Salon (its more of a barber shop than a salon) I could prove that I wasn't lying when I said I had an appointment and couldn't stop. Unfortunately, he would still be there when I left. I tried to stall hoping the guy would reach his quota or just give up and leave but if I asked the woman cutting my hair to take any more off the sides, I would leave there looking like Butters from South Park. So I left and to my delight, the guy was busy with another sucker. I hi-tailed it around the corner and took the longest, most out-of-the way route back to my apartment.

I'd like to say that I learned a valuable lesson that day but the truth is, I haven't learned a thing.


  1. JDizzle2:07 PM

    Dude! Those people come to our house! They fricking walk up and knock on the door, clipboard in hand. My dog freaks the eff out like we're being robbed. And yet they still stay! I open the door and the dog is having a giant panic attack, she's drooling like Cujo and the effing dude just tries to talk over her and get me to sign some stupid sheet. I could care less!!! So Ben and i put a sign on our door that says: "If you have a clipboard, we are not interested." It has been very effective. Ben actually freaked on a guy one time. They were yelling back and forth on our door step. It was great. I HATE those guys. They are worse than telemarketers.

  2. Maybe I should make a T-Shirt with the same catchy slogan:
    "If you have a clipboard, we are not interested."

  3. I would totally rock one of those tees.